Alex is 10 years old and lives with his parents and three older brothers, who have a diagnosis of ND. Alex has a moderate dyslexia diagnosis and is getting support for ASD and ADHD.

At school, Alex was masking. He could return home tearful, hide under a blanket and communicate very little with family members. Changes to routine and transitions could feel anxiety-provoking and lead to emotional dysregulation. He also found disagreements with friends and different social dynamics difficult to manage.

His needs were presenting differently at home and at school, and there were concerns that this difference in understanding could create a barrier as he prepared for secondary school.

How we helped

In his first session, Alex came in independently but was clearly nervous. We used a “where are you today” number and emoji grading tool to help him check in with how he was feeling.

We talked about his ND in a neuro affirming way: different not defective. We explored people with similar brains who have achieved in life because of their brain – not despite. We also acknowledged that this can sometimes be more difficult.

This gave Alex the confidence to talk about the possibility that he might be ASD and ADHD. We explored what this could mean for him and what he might notice. The following week, he came in ready to share what he had noticed about his brain and said that this understanding was helping him make sense of his feelings.

Sensory play, including water beads and kinetic sand, helped us talk about sensory joy and difficulties. Alex was interested in making slime, although he was less enthusiastic about its feeling. We also explored his worry about getting things wrong and how our brains can sometimes think we are in danger and respond.

Using the 4 F’s and the “animals inside that help us” resource, Alex identified flight mode and recognised how he masks and hides his ND. We explored executive functioning too, looking at strategies he was already using, and other ways to support his memory.

We also talked through Alex’s experience of school and his concerns about moving to secondary school. Although he had a place at one school, his parents preferred a smaller school. Together, we created a pros and cons list for each option. Alex preferred the school his friends would attend and could see that both choices had good sides and that either choice would not be the end of the world. He also identified positives about learning in the new school.

Games supported work on self-esteem. Alex quickly picked up rules and used thoughtful strategies, so these strengths were reflected back to him in neuro affirming language: “different” not “less”.

The difference it made

Each week, Alex became more confident and open during sessions. His parents also noticed that he was better able to talk about his feelings at school and with them, helping to lower his anxiety.

A neuro affirming approach helped Alex feel comfortable exploring worries and anxieties and reframe his differences. His confidence rose from 5 to 9. His school score rose from 7 to 8, and his self-esteem score rose from 6 to 8.

Not long after sessions had finished, we received the following letter:

“Dear M, Alex has asked if I could send you his end of year school report as he’s so proud of himself and rightly so, we both felt that some of this was because of the sessions he had with you helped him understand himself much better and helped him understand how his brain works and why.
So thank you again for those sessions.”

Name changed to protect identity